Are kids included in the invite?


Category : Wedding Help, Wedding Planning

I never really thought about whether or not kids should be invited to our wedding. One thing is for sure, we will have at least one – our son Callum.

At the time of our wedding, Callum will only be 3. It will be a long and tiring day for him. I expect that at some point he may get cranky and most likely will throw one of his almighty tantrums (quite possibly during a moment where silence would be appreciated).

Sure – in an ideal world he would be the perfect little angel that smiles all day long for numerous cameras, doesnt launch his unwanted vegetables at his gran or get hyper on sweets and refuse to go to bed – but at the same time, he is a kid, and so I guess we just have to go with the flow.

With that in mind – it got me to thinking, how does it work with children at weddings?

I mean, as much as I want our closest friends and their family to be there – is it awful if we don’t invite every child we know to our wedding?And if we chose to go down this route – how on earth do we tell our friends and family that their children aren’t invited?

Here are a few suggestions people have had.  Let me know if you have any others or how you dealt with the situation and I will add to the list to help couples in a similar situation.

  • Include a “guest information” leaflet with the invitations stating that it is an adult only event or “Respectfully, an adult occasion”
  • Don’t put “and family” on the invites (although to me this one seems a bit vague!)
  • Wait until they ask and then have the conversation in person – or if you are brave enough have the conversation prior to sending out your invites
  • Blame it on venue restrictions

I guess, as with everything, there are no hard and fast rules. Some may be offended, others relieved to have a kid free day. It would seem that weddings will cause offence to someone at somepoint in the planning and whether we like it or not – it’s all part of the process.

One thing remains though, it is YOUR wedding day, and YOUR special day should be exactly the way YOU want it.

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Comments (6)

I’d be inclined to say no, a wedding can be a long and tiring day for children. I always think a nice compromise is to invite children the first part of the day and then perhaps have them picked up at 6pm maybe, means they have been included but gives the adults some time to themselves???

It’s a tough choice. I think most adults would respect the fact that you don’t want restless small children about, never mind the fact that they simply won’t enjoy themselves. But others may be offended, especially if you have your own there (but obviously you can’t leave him out!!!).

Our lil one was invited to last wedding – but we chose not to take him. It was lovely for him to be included, but I know that both myself and partner wouldn’t have had the same day and be able to celebrate with our friends properly if we had taken him.

That said, he wasn’t invited to the last family one, and I thought it a bit strange!

Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t hehe!

Yeah that seems like a fair way Emma. Biggest thing for some brides though is the actual vows and having a baby crying throughout isn’t exactly ideal.

For me though, I know that there are some kids who I couldn’t possibly imagine not being there on the day. Really is a tough decision.

We had a right old debate over kids at our wedding – we were not so keen and our families were. In the end as there was quite a few, we felt it would be right to invite them.

I was worried about noise in the ceremony too, so to keep them involved so they wouldn’t get bored we had them all do the bidding prayers in the church (which was cute), and then we also gave them all a goody bag (depending on age), with things like colouring books and crayons and stickers and fuzzy felts (non messy stuff!). The babies all got little rattles and things. They all loved them!

I have to say, I was really worried about the children but in the end I wouldn’t have changed it – my flower girl and her little friend Annie even got up and sang with the band (they are 3) – they stole the show! xxx

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